JOAN ROSE FRANCES BONARDI
JUNE 9,1935 – FEBRUARY 6, 2018

In her high school yearbook you can see her smiling; bright-eyed and beautiful, with those impossibly high cheekbones she proudly believed to be a proof of Native American blood. She was the girl voted 'Nicest Disposition', captain of the cheer-leading squad, and valedictorian of of her graduating class.

By 1954 she was working in the photo labs at Life Magazine in New York City for some of the most renowned photographers of the day, including Margaret Bourke-White and Alfred Eisenstaedt, and planning her wedding to Dante Bonardi, the handsomest man she had ever met.

Marriage and the draft board brought her and Dante to Ft. Benning Georgia, from where, two years after the birth of first daughter Diane, Joan and her young family returned to Bergen County, New Jersey. Two more daughters, Denise and Ann Marie, came along, and until the early 70's, Joan was, in Denise's words, “the best mommy in the whole wide world”. When Joan felt the time was right, she went back to school to finally pursue a degree and earned a BS. Ed from Saint Thomas Aquinas College while still keeping the family ticking over in Harrington Park.

Once she returned to the workforce, she dedicated her working life to the benefit of others. She helped the children that others dismissed as past hope or caring at the Bergen Center for Child Development, and volunteered her weekends at the Rockland Psychiatric Hospital. After she qualified as a Clinical Social Worker, she spent many years working with the River Vale Police Department, where her help and support was valued as much by her clients as by the men on the force, and “the cops” became her lifelong friends. In addition to the practical and emotional support and counseling she gave, she organized and operated a Food Bank from her office which proved to be a lifeline to many people in the River Vale area. She met many people's needs with grace, generosity, and respect for their dignity, and in recognition and gratitude for that, the Mayor of River Vale declared Joan Bonardi Day before she retired.

Changing times and changing lives led to divorce after 24 years of marriage, after which she took the opportunity to travel to the places she had always longed to see. She took a once in a lifetime cruise to Alaska to watch the whales and see the Inuit totem poles up close. Her growing family gave her the chance to travel to England and Italy for daughter Diane's wedding to husband Mark, to Holland for son-in law Salvatore's doctoral thesis defense in Leiden, and again to England for the Christenings of her two grandsons, Joe and Michael.

In 2001 Joan and Denise moved down to Stafford Township to be nearer the sea, and Joan continued to intervene for good, supporting numerous charities and mentoring Krystina, her Native American “daughter” for many years, and until 2007 she served on the Southern Ocean County Juvenile Conference Committee, providing help and guidance to young people who found themselves in trouble with the law. She created what she liked to call “Bonardi World” in her own back yard. There isn't a cardinal, blue jay, hummingbird, chipmunk or squirrel for miles around who doesn't know about it, and her garden was designated a Backyard Wildlife Habitat by the National Wildlife Federation.

What those of us who knew and loved her will remember most about her is that there was always room at her table and a welcome in her home. She opened her doors to AFS student Beth from Brazil and best friend Teresa from Italy, both of whom remained lifelong friends. Young people in particular,who sometimes found the challenges of adolescence too much to bear, knew that they could find a safe place to just “be” when the rest of the world found them wanting. She volunteered her time to stay close to younger people as her children were growing up – she was sharp as a pin her her Girl Scout Leader's uniform, and many a UNICEF collection box was assembled on her watch. When the Northern Masque was casting about for an adult adviser, Joanie stepped up to the plate, so Oklahoma! could do just fine, and the 76 trombones could lead the big parade in River City after all. Searching through her recipe box this afternoon, we were struck again by how very well fed we were. (Perhaps too well!) But for a lifetime of plates prepared with love from all the great cuisines of the world, for Easter pizza, baklava, linguine with clams; for strufoli, risotto, and Chinese walnut chicken, for her legendary meatballs, Monte Christo sandwiches, lemon meringue pie and her peerless pineapple upside down cake; for Korean shrimp toast, Russian teacakes, Swedish ginger bread and so much more, we are all truly grateful.

Joan was a woman who strove to live up to her ideals; even her emails were tagged with words to live by from Albert Einstein:

“Only morality in our actions can give beauty and dignity to our lives”

By her own standards then, she led a beautiful and dignified life. To the very end of her days, cut cruelly and abruptly short by sepsis, she lived together as beloved mother, companion, and friend to her daughter Denise. She was a dedicated supporter of the National Wildlife Federation, The PIME Missionaries, and the Stafford Township Fire Department. We would be grateful if, in lieu of flowers, you would like to donate to these charities or to the Sepsis Alliance.